A Familiar Stranger. A Forgotten Friend

Photo by Michael Gonzalez

I had one regret: selling my flute.

As of April 15, three weeks ago, I bought it from my friend (who I will call M. for privacy) who I sold it to back in 2018.

We talked over this during the final week of March. After asking and paying $70 to them for the flute, we tried to meet on the 27^th, however, my sister and I were going to get tattoos that day. So, the delivery day moved to the following Monday. Mere minutes after M. and I had agreed to the change, UTRGV’s School of Medicine emailed me about getting my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. I updated M., and we moved the time to later after my appointment. On March 29, I felt nervous. Not only was I getting my flute back, but I was getting a shot (which I dislike immensely). However, the whole process of getting vaccinated took less than an hour. The swiftness of the staff shocked me and helped make the day easier. It was about a five-minute walk to my apartment, so I texted M. I was on my way there. Just as I turned to my building, M. was already there waiting.

Holding the flute bag felt weird. I was not used to its cold-smooth black material. The bag, which has two pockets, was like how I remembered it. Of course, there were signs of wear-and-tear. The top zipper, which stored a plastic rod and cleaning supplies, broke. Although it was in the bag, it does not look reusable. While in M.’s care, they used a button to secure it. The blue UTRGV library-themed button was a bit rusted but got the job done. The bottom bag, where the instrument is stored, looked like nothing changed. I picked up the case out of the bag and placed it on my bed. Once I moved the two sliver locks, a small click popped. The top part of the case opened, revealing the instrument. Seeing it for the first time after two years, a huge grin formed on my face. The whole experience felt surreal.

I was alone at my apartment, and the itch to play needed to be scratched. Even though I did not have any sheet music on me, I memorized several exercises, and copies of the musical scales are easy to find online.

“It’s been too long,” I said while putting the flute together.

For a moment, I forgot how to set it up. I was about to text a friend when the memory struck me. However, before I could make any sound, I checked my apartment’s leasing contract regarding noise. It said no, still I called the office anyway. Fortunately, it was OK but at low levels. Afterward, I started to play harmonics, a way to get the needed airspeed going. Holding it felt unnatural for a bit. I did not forget the finger placement, just having it in my hands was weird. There were a lot of unfamiliar sensations while I played. The vibrating flute, feeling light-headed, and my hands feeling gross after touching it. I missed it dearly.

Once I finished warming up my flute and body, I played pieces saved on my Musescore account. L E Barajas Symphony No. 1 in Eb “Celestial Spheres”, Anthony Prudent’s “An Introspection”, and Matthew LeFebvre’s wind ensemble arrangement of Samuel Barber’s “Adagio for Strings”. These were the scores that brought back my memories of performing. I can still see myself walking onto the stage, sitting and organizing the music, and waiting for the conductor’s cue to play.

After playing for more than 10 minutes, my roommate arrived back at the apartment. An anxious feeling started to grow in me. I asked them if it was OK to play, and they replied is was. However, that did not make the anxiety go away. Playing with someone else in the room felt different. While alone, I did not think twice about how I sounded. Yet, their arrival made me think about how my neighbors felt. My apartment’s walls are thin; you can often hear people’s muffled arguing. I began to feel bad for the noise I most likely caused, especially since flutes can reach high notes that can sometimes bother others.

Although I cannot play my flute at my apartment, it does not matter. It is back with me after two years. Since I am graduating this semester, my goal is to take music somewhat seriously, such as auditioning for musicals, street preform, or even recording some music of my own. Having the flute back makes me feel complete again.